Harry Potter and the Thing That I Just Wrote
by Squidbones
Summary: What happens to Harry during his Sixth Year at Hogwarts? Do I care? Will he fall in love? Do I care? Or will He die? Do I care? Where are my car keys? Do I Have a Car? All Will be answered. PLEASE REVIEW.


Harry Potter woke up and did stuff, probably magic. Don't ask me, I was watching Wheel of Fortune. Some dude won a car and was like CRAP. Harry Potter doesn't have a car. I don't either. At least I don't remember having one. Speaking of which, Harry went to his Magic School were people are wizards, and probably higher then the Moon for half the class, but this is not true. They are high for all of class, if they do go, instead of sitting behind the dumpsters laughing at a joke some one told a week ago. All they do is drugs and magic and smoke cigars and complain about some thing while I write about them.

"Hello, Sidekick." Said Harry over the sound of me not caring "Hello, possible love interest."

Then that one girl who is Harry's friend with a hard to spell name, what's her name, Herms came over and started complaining.

"Look Harry it's your androgynous rival!" Said some replaceable cog who got smacked by a totally baked Irish Man who started break dancing

It was good. Harry break-danced, and every one was like CRAP! Then Neville showed up and was like WHOA. And then Harry had a vision of a fat teenager acting his fantasies through him and his friends on some thing called the In-terr-net. Harry wondered if a ghost could get stoned, but stared at his hand for a while. I did that on a bus and missed my stop and when I got off I got capped in the head by a 9mm bullet and lost so much blood that I got to puke some on a nurse and she was like CRAP, and the doctor said he'd have to cut off my arm and he totally over billed my HMO who cursed my children's live stock to short painful lives before I totally superplexed him and his laser wielding assistants who read me War and Peace while dancing to Yellow Submarine.

"Ron!" Said Harry who was totally baked

"I'm a shark!" Screamed a monkey who ate Harry's face.

Then Harry break-danced and twirled some glow sticks while Ron danced to Happy Hardcore and Herms and that-dude-with-the-face total were baked. And in love. CRAP!

Then they went to class. At Potions Snape taught them to make a Drought of Getting Stoned Beyond Compare, but Harry got mad and, just for the fun of it, spit in Herm's cauldron. Then they went to Defense Against The Dark Arts. The teacher's name was Mr. Going to Leave After a Mildly Exciting Plot Twist Near the End of the Book. He showed the kids how to JUST SAY NO TO JUST SAYING NO. Herms took so many notes that she had to stop. Harry was so excited he passed out and had a dream.

Then Voldemort hit some dude with a bong. Then they got high and the Rat Dude freaked and total made some major plot development while they were laughing at SHARK DECADE ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL!!!! Ironically I'm watching that now. No I lied, I'm writing some thing.

Harry saw the whole thing.

"RON!" Yelled Harry

"What!" Said Ron

"Voldemort is plastered."

"Right on. Let's jilly-jam to some kippers" Said Ron

"Spiffing." Said Harry over the noise of Snape sneaking up on them

"Potter and Ron. Ron twenty points for having no last name. Potter one-bazillion points for not being baked while jilly-jaming." Said Snape as he started to turn in to a monkey

"I'm a Shark!" Yelled Snape

"CRAP" Said Harry

"That's against the rules" Said Herms "Not that I care!"

Then all the dudes got on brooms. It was intense. One dude fell off and everyone felt jealous because he was higher then they were. Harry was on a broom and he caught a ball, and people were like CRAP. Every one cheered and Harry went back and made out with a Monkey that looked like some interchangeable riffraff. But he was still mad. Then Old Voldy made him have a dream. Herms was skeptic, but Ron was baked.

Harry was in a forest wait no, it was his house. Then Ron jilly-jamed and Harry tripped to the moon and had a love affair with the one girl with the name I have a hard time spelling.

Then some thinger that cleaned, Dobbs, I think is his name brought him some REALLY GOOD STUFF, I MEAN CRAP THIS IS GOOD STUFF and the next six weeks are a blur. Then Dobbs helped with a new plot twist at which point every one got high and yeah. Stuff happens. Harry grows a beard, Ron's voice becomes deeper, and Herms and Ginny got baked.

Harry woke up and realized, It's almost the end of the year and I still haven't gotten some one killed. So he went outside and Voldy grabbed Herms and Mr. Leaves after a Mildly Exciting Plot Twist Near the End of the Book saved Herms, but not Neville. So Neville's dead. Then they Jilly-Jamed as Ron and Herms starred at each other. And Harry twirled glow sticks. And they all went home, except Harry who was to baked to remember were he lived. Then Dobbs and Herms got together, and had a billion little freak children, who ate Harry's face. Wait, those are monkeys. And Ron found Harry and Herms got Baked on the train as Herm's freak babies spanked each other while dancing the YMCA. And Dobbs was happy. Until he died. Which is right now. CRAP!


End file.
